those short months we were together are beginning to fade from memory. our unpleasant exchanges of words and accusations only compound all the bad memories and our complicated adult problems-- and they're starting to envelope all my thoughts of you. sorting out my photos, i come across this picture. one random day after coming home from work-- wanting to save a piece of your sweetness and my happiness, i took this snapshot. did i tell you those were my favorite flowers? did you know that you did everything i've ever wished a boy would do for me?

i haven't written much lately because writing without inspiration is, to say the very least, extremely difficult. but i was inspired today. and for the first time in a long time, i feel really good about where i am and what i'm doing. i'm starting to feel the hunger again, the hunger of pursuit. i'm really happy i'm single. that i'm not content with who i am, that i'm itching to grow. i'm happy to be in dallas. i look forward to tomorrow, the day after that and the day after that. and then the weekend and the weekends to come after that. i was stagnant for a while--taking care of menial tasks upon menial tasks and chasing visceral pleasures, relieving visceral pains. life was reduced to the visceral. now i'm gaining momentum to *live* again. i love summer. and god of wine. interesting new people and old friends.

good day today :)